Even as adults, we crave our mom and dad’s love and approval. A toxic parent will exploit that. This could be due to normalized bad behavior over time or the hope that your parent will change. Peg Streep, author of “Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life,” explains that while all relationships have tension, how conflicts are resolved distinguishes healthy tension from toxicity.
Identifying Toxic Behaviors
1. They Manipulate You
Toxic parents manipulate your craving for their approval to get their way. They make you feel that your decisions harm them, threatening to withdraw love or connection if you don’t comply. If you resist, they might threaten estrangement or cutting you out of the inheritance.
2. They Belittle Your Feelings
Toxic parents dismiss or minimize your feelings, leaving you questioning your perceptions. This is gaslighting, making you doubt your emotional responses and self-worth. Clinical psychologist Craig Malkin describes how such behavior leads to shame and confusion that persists into adulthood.
3. They Call Disagreement Disrespect
Toxic parents view any disagreement as disrespect, shutting down any possibility of healthy discussion. They believe their way is the only way, forcing you into a corner where capitulation is the only option.
